Thursday, September 18, 2008

A silly story

Alright, so my homework for Advanced Composition was to write a story using 26 rhetorical devices. I had to include ALL of them in my story, so even bar the subject it sounds completely ridiculous! Add in the fact that I'm not the greatest writer and you have a disaster. The only reason I'm posting this is because Tom wanted to read it, and I figured it couldn't be too much weirder than the woman that lives in his ceiling so...

Here is the list of all the devices we had to include in our story, the little numbers correspond to where I placed them in mine (I hope... if I used them properly) Don't feel bad if you don't know what all of them are... I didn't either until I had to do this exercise:
1.Active voice
2.Passive voice
3.Simple sentence
4.Compound sentence
5.Complex sentence
6.Compound-complex sentence
7.Loose sentence
8.Periodic sentence
9.Parallel sentence
10.Parallel sentences
11.Denotation
12.Connotation
13.Antithesis
14.Appositive
15.Interrupter with a hyphen
16.Asyndeton
17.Alliteration
18.Assonance
19.Anaphora
20.Epistrophe
21.Anadiplosis
22.Metonymy
23.Personification
24.Hyperbole
25.Litotes
26.Oxymoron

Here's the story, I'm goingto hide my face in shame now whilst you read it! Hahaha

Deep in a forest, secluded in a lush glen, there lived creatures that had rarely been seen by humans.(2)(5)(8) These animals were half avian and half feline—avian faces, wings and front legs, feline hind legs and tails- and they resided in small flocks.(4)(15) People gave such beasts the name “gryphons.” (1)(3) This particular flock of gryphons was brightly colored and it was also rather unusual, even considering the nature of its species.(6) One young gryphon especially stood out from the rest, displaying a playful disposition.(7) She was a perfect example of being child-like and naïve. (11)(12) Her face and chest were a deep violet, her body and tail a vibrant magenta, and her feathery tail centered with a beautiful shade of turquoise.(9) Keet, as this gryphon was known, also had a delicate pair of lavender wings, a golden orange beak, and a set of scaly golden avian forelimbs. (10)(14)

It just so happened that one night whilst the flock was sleeping, a kidnapper took one of the young gryphons. When the flock awoke in the morning, they were shocked to find that little Lotus had been abducted, most of all Keet who was her best friend. Poor Keet was confused, yet aware of what had happened to her companion, and she stared wide-eyed at the elders who were squabbling over what they should do.(13) “Well this will not get us anywhere,” thought Keet, and she sneaked off alone to look for her captive friend. She took to the air swooping, diving, calling out in shrill chirps— it all seemed to no avail.(16)

Finally, after what seemed like days of searching, Keet heard a weak whimpering whine coming from a strange concrete edifice, the likes of which she had never seen before. (17) This odd structure was not alone; Keet had wandered into some bizarre tribal city, which unknown to her belonged to humans. Keet flew up to a clear glass panel that looked in on a tiny room inside the building.(18) There she saw that her best friend had been locked in a tight cage, had been crying profusely, and had been quite thoroughly shaken be the events which had taken place.(19) Apparently the humans who lived in the city thought that Lotus would make a fine and loyal pet, but Keet was not about to find out if that were the case.

To release her friend, she had to think like a brave gryphon and act like a brave gryphon.(20) Although Keet was overcome with fear, fear for her life and fear for her friend, she managed to clear her head enough to devise a plan.(21) Words of support from the flock seemed to ring in her large catlike ears as she nimbly cut a large hole in the glass pane with a sharp claw.(22) It was something she never dreamed she would do in a thousand years.(24) The bright sun smiled and the sky sang encouragingly as Keet slipped stealthily through the hole in the window and quieted her sobbing friend.(23) This proved to be no easy task, as Lotus had been quite worked up by the whole ordeal.(25) If she had been calm enough, maybe she would have thought to pick the lock on the cramped cage, which is what Keet did while holding a calming hand over her hysterical friend’s beak. Once freed, Lotus stifled a chirp of gratitude and the two sneaked silently out through the window.

Keet and Lotus returned home with some true tall tales to share with the flock, and were greeted with many sighs of relief.(26)




40 comments:

dubious.blues said...

I would show it to the woman living in my ceiling, but there are obvious complications in that plan.

Glad the gryphons are okay though!

David Wu said...

It's a joy to read your entries. I must apologize for also getting on board late with your blog. I'll "follow."

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